Beiträge von gideon

  • Kurzer Lacher

    A man named Ralph appeared before St Peter at the Pearly Gates.
    "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St Peter asked.


    "Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered.


    "Once, on a trip to the Brecon Beacons in South Wales, I came upon a gang of bikers, who were threatening a young woman.
    I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen.
    So, I approached the largest and most heavily-tattooed biker and smacked him in his face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring and threw it on the ground, yelling "Now, back off or I'll kick the sh1t out of all of you!"


    St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"


    "Just a couple of minutes ago".

  • Kurzer Lacher

    A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his
    father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.


    His father said he'd make a deal with his son: 'You bring your grades
    up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your
    hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car.'


    The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the
    offer, and they agreed on it.


    After about six weeks his father said, 'Son, you've brought your
    grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible,
    but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut.


    The boy said, 'You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've
    noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the
    Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair...and there's even strong
    evidence that Jesus had long hair.'


    You're going to love the Dad's reply:


    his father replied,


    'Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?

  • Kurzer Lacher

    There was once a great actor, who had a problem. He could no longer remember his lines.
    Finally after many years he finds a theatere where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again.
    The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line, you must walk on to the stage carrying a rose, you must hold the rose with just one finger and your thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say the line, 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'"
    The actor is thrilled. All day long before the play he's practicing his line over and over again. Finally the time came.
    The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage, and with great passion delivered the line; "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."
    The theatere erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter and the director was steaming!
    "You fool!" he cried, "You have ruined me!"
    The actor was bewildered, "What happened? Did I forget my line?"
    he asked.
    "No, you idiot!" the director screamed, "You forgot the rose!"

  • Kurzer Lacher

    A married couple in their early 60's were celebrating their 40th Wedding Anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant ...
    Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table. She said, "For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish." The wife answered, "Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband." The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - Two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.
    The husband thought for a moment: "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than I." The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.
    So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof! -.the husband became 93 years old.
    The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female ...

  • Ehemaliges Deutsches auto wieder nach Deutschland reimportieren, wie und wieviel?

    Zitat von Teylah

    Da wahr mal so etwas gewesen, aber wie gesagt wenn mann etwas schlau ist, bei ner Kontrolle den Deutschen Perso raus mit Deutscher adresse und fertig ist die sache.


    Das funktioniert aber nur wenn du wirklich nur als Touri da rumspringst. Kommst du an einen Dorfsheriff, der dich und dein Fahrzeug kennt und weiß du wohnst im Ort, bist du am ... Steuerhinterziehung und Versicherungsbetrug, da können sie dir die Karre einziehen. Und da macht es auch keinen Unterschied auf wen das Auto zugelassen ist. Ausschlaggebend ist wo es fährt.

  • Tipps für Städtetrips in D

    Unterkunft hängt davon ab was deine Ansprüche sind und wieviel du ausgeben willst, da gibt's alles von B&B bis ***** ... bei Szene und Lokalitäten würde ich den Senefelderplatz empfehlen, ist nah am Zentrum (Alexanderplatz) und hast 'n haufen internationale Restaurants und Bars im typischen berliner Altbauflair (is' im Sommer mein bevorzugtes Biergartenrevier :thumbup: ) ... ansonsten fallen deine Termine ja in die Weihnachtszeit, überall in der Stadt wirst du dann Weihnachtsmärkte finden, schön mit 'nem Glas Glühwein ein bischen Schländern gehen ... viel sieht man in Berlin auch vom Wasser aus, eine Stadtrundfahrt mit der Stern und Kreisschiffahrt ist besser als mit dem Bus (zu viel Verkehr in der Innenstadt) ... aber besser ist du kommst im Sommer, Berlin ist dann eine komplett andere Stadt, glaub' mir ...

  • Unfall in Abwesenheit ?

    läuft wie 'n ganz normaler Unfall ... du rufst den an und läst dir seine Versicherungsdaten geben ... danach schickst du seiner Versicherung den Kostenvoranschlag für die Reparatur mit Angabe des polizeilichen Aktenzeichen ...